My Book,Personal experience's

My Book,Personal experience's
Oh No it was Night already .
Now what ? How would I get out of it tonight?
Im so very tired , Dear God Please Help me!
I cant go through this again,not tonight,Please someone help me..


As I look back on all the things that happened to me as a child of three
what in the world was I supposed to do? There wsnt alot of help like there is today,Yet children
Still get molested and beat, I dont understand why a man think's the way they do,
Or should I say Some of the Sick Men..Because as I have Grown to become a woman I have Found a Man
Who know's and has Even tried to get me help with the sick problem's that I had to face as a child.

But At age three All I can really think of was hiding and him finding me ,
alway's finding me.I tried to hide I really did,I just wasnt good enough.
He was much older and wiser,And it seem's that the Pillow's that were made
Back in those days were even heavier,I used to dream that My Mother would walk in and beat him up!

But she had to work and of course she trusted this person and they alway's did as they wanted to ,
Any time they wanted,as long as eveyone was asleep..Meaning my two sister's.
I dont know nor do I understand to this day why They picked me.I did have a older sister,
But then I dont know that they didnt do the same thing to her.
The same routine would happen each time they had the chance,they would come in and put a pillow over my
Face,Then they would leave me Broken,Inside and out,I dont think that I have ever really been alive,
I have never ever been happy.Granted I have My Children and God has given me those two bright spots in my life.

I shiver now to think what would have happened to me if I had of gotten Pregnant while being abused?
I wouldnt have been able to handle that,I had enough on me already.I started to school att the age of five.
I thought now Im a Big Girl all of this will stop..It only got worse and then I got to the point of no return,
My health turned bad,I couldnt Breathe in class anymore or I couldnt stay clean enough I felt
Like when I went to school that everyone knew what had happened the night before,and that I was really
Dirty,So I started taking alot of bath's and washing my hand's until they Bled.

I know that all of this is really ,really personal BUT if it will help just one little Girl out there I want their Parent's to
Know that it doesnt have to be someone you dont know it can be in the Family and you can trust them,or so they Think they can.